Autism Sucks!!!!
Wow My son has had a couple of rough days, this autism really sucks ! No one knows unless they care for a autistic child 24/7....... Understanding I wish I had some support about this. It is so frustrating when he wants to bite, kick and throw his body around not . I have to find out what to do cause I just do not know. There are many "Experts" that study books and have no idea what life is about with an autistic child... Argh!! but on the bright side at least I am dealing with reality and not eating it down. Thank you God that I am in a 12 step program dealing with my food addiction. I can recall when my son use to have days like these I used to get food and stuff my face untill I could not stuff it anymore, And what did that do It damn sure didn't make the situation better oh hell naw it did'nt. But Thank you God for awareness I do not have to eat over this it will not improve my sons behavior........ But anyway wow that felt good to get it all out!! My laundry is almost done thats a good thing. I have to continue to pray pray pray I know God can hear me.......
It has been a while since I have made a post wow so much has happened first off I have been seriously ill. And I have to admit God had me on mute. I also lost my voice during my illness but I did not loose my abstinence. Thank you God!!!! April 1st was my 90th day of abstinence Woohoo If I can do this anyone can do it. Work the steps and be honest the key is honesty. It was not easy because I was a volume eater and a drive-by eater I have to remain honest or else I will loose my abstinence. Many people do not understand how it is to be a compulsive overeater. God has blessed me awareness Thank you God I now know that I have a disease and if I consume certain foods my reaction will be an allergic reaction of gaining weight It seems as if it is so simple to understand. But it takes wiliness!!!!! Thank You God I can finally honestly say now it is not about the food I have put the food down.
Updating ....Me.....
wELL FINALLY i HAVE A MINUTE TO UPDATE THIS BLOG, Wow I was just typing in capatals talk about laughing out loud but anyway My son's birthday was complete succeses. But I am so Glad that it is over. Thankful that I was able to give birth to my son on March 18, 2006, I remember that day very vividly. And to look at how he has grown into a beautiful sweet young man. And thank God I was able to walk around and go from store to store and not be miserable and not near passing out. I have to admit I did have trouble breathing a few times due to my asthma. I have been on medication prednisone for my asthma and At first I was scared when the doctor prescribe because I can recall onece before I use to binge while on that medication, But this time not a binge tickect only treatment for my illness what a difference. BUt anyway. It felt good to be able to get in and out the car running errands without my weight holding me back. However I am still having trouble with my asthma and the trigger hasn't been the weight I can say the trigger for my current bout of asthma is because of the common cold. I go to my regular doctor monday I can't wait I seen a substitute doctor last week while sick I cannot waat was it for the reaction of my doctor she may piss in her pants that would be funny as hell. But anyway Back to the birthday for my son. I really believe that my son has a understanding of birthday because the morning of his birthday I told him it was his special day and he will have fun and he gave me the biggest smile I ever seen in my life. I went to the other side of town to get a cake made without sugar so that I could get a slice. he he BUt anyway I took my son to Chuckie CHeese yesterday and I think I had more fun than he did.............
Babbling!
Whew talking about having a bug! Yesterday I thought my head and lungs were going to explode. My Head was plugged my chest was hurting It was all bad. But Thank God I did not eat over it!!! I can recall when I use to be sick and just Stuff it stuff it!!! Well this morning I was awakened by my son climbing on my head I did not want to get up, but I had too!!! Well thats the part of being a mommie. I got to love it... My days are filled with cleaning, cooking, laundry, being kicked, jumped on (by my son) Wow I have been cooking and cleaning all my life I remember being a mombut mie at 8 years old. I used to come home from school and when I got home my dad had to work or was overseas( he was in the military) or my mom was on her way home from work but anyways I was a mommy very early in my life. Since this is my blog I will say well write was on my mind... I am a little bit freaked out at people looking me up on line I hate that I feel stalked.... I have been deleting accounts left and right some of the accounts I can't remember but most I do I am just thankful that Most of my tracking online is weightloss and marketing well the marketing aspect I have a good following the weight loss issue is pretty much a lost cause it was quitfunny how I tried to loose weight via blog youtube myspace or whatever but well that part of my life is over wow I am watching Wendy WIlliams and I was distracted by Lance Gross That Man is Fine!!! Wow he is Sexy I had no idea He looks total different than he is on the house of pain... Looks like I have to go see that movie "Our Family wedding. And Wendy was all in that mans face LMAO!!! Ok Blog Later time for my dose of day quil
Wooo Woooo
Well I have been home all day my nose is plugged my voice is muffled but I am o.k And I am happy wow Happy having a damn cold. How crazy am I . In reality I am thinking about when I had a previous cold I complained and was in the Food. Boy was I . I can recall stuffing my mouth with food and not caring. My life has changed I am not stuffing my mouth What A miracle Thank God I see it. I am a long way........ My life is different I am Happy That I can say that My life is better than it was before. I have realized that I used to play the victim All ways I always was looking to blame someone for my problems I am learning to accept my problems and deal with them and not play the blame game. Wow A miracle...................
One Day Vacation
Wow I am so excited I am taking a one day out a town trip with my son mom and brother I am curious to see how will the day end up. Well I am so Glad I am not into the food I will be able to walk around and not complain about my back or my breathing Thank You Jesus!!! It is such a blessing to begin to feel my physical recovery. I am trying to remember when was the last time I went on a family outing with the family wow it has been a long time I am excited I will have to blog about it later Let me get going...........
Chicken Soup Moment
Wow Ha ha ha laughing is good for the soul, well thats what I have heard. I t has been a week since I posted here on this blog. wow what a ride. I had to weigh myself and wow I was not happy about that "I can't stand a damn scale"But I weighed myself and I do have some physical recovery. Thank God, But I will not focus on the weight!! I really can''t afford too. I want my recovery to stay honest It is beautiful And I love it Love it My life is much better.Although it is not easy not easy. I am so happy that my life is changing being more alert and taking time out for my son and putting my son before the food. It is so embarrising to admit for along time I put food before my son So sick Food ! wow I know food But just to know my life has changed is a blessing. I am unable to share my experience and journey with everyone, because "everyone doese not understand" "Push away from the table" "Have Will power" "Walk around the block" I was so sick of people that said that to me. No one understood my diesase of compulsive overeating. IT IS A DIESASE!! And I needed treatmentet Thank GOD
$$$$$DIET ADDICTION$$$$$$
Wow.. Just by writing down these items I am completely knocked down and this is not all of it ....... I Thank God for leading me to my twelve step program to deal with my food and diet addiction
This is only a small part I will continually add to this list there is more. Much More
This is only a small part I will continually add to this list there is more. Much More
Diet Foods
Nutri system
weight watchers
slim fast
herbal life
right size smoothies
full bar
Diet Pills
Dextatrim
alli
xantrex
waterpills
grapefruit
metabolife
lipozene
zenetrax
Diet Plans
soup diet
liquid diet
cabbage diet
southbeach diet
the atkins diet
biggest loser
fat smash diet
To be continued........
Off to a Good start.
Well Well Well I have been up for almost twelve hours now. I still have not had flour or sugar... Thank you God. But boy do I miss Bread Would not mind having a slice ha ha But it is o.k It is what it is. I am so loving the fact that I do not feel any pressure by doing this blog unlike any other blogs I have had in the past. That reason being is that there is no pressure No pressure I realize that diets don't work for me. I have a disease I am a compulsive over eater. Since I gain the knowledge of that My life has begun to change. I have bought so many exercise books, DVD,pills, diet plans, diet clubs, diet food and equipment etc. So Much Money....$$$$$$ I will put my List up.......
Good Morning !!!
O.k Here I go again with another blog But there is a difference this time. It is NOT A WEIGHT LOSS BLOG!! Thank God because I believe I have several that are surfing the net that haven't been deleted .Now I understand if you have a problem with food a weight loss blog is not going to help you. It didn't help me anyway. I am a compulsive over eater" Wow o.k what is next? I have been working a twelve step program for just about two months now and my relationship with food is love hate. "I hate the fact I cannot love food" Yes I said it. Ha Ha Ha And the beautiful part about it is I am not the only one. But within the past few days God has been revealing something that I said I will never want to do.... Leave Flour and sugar well for today anyways, I have notice when I eat something with flour or sugar I get the "Mores" (I want more and more) This morning my son woke me up by jumping on my head while I was sleep, I thank God he is only 3 and 32lbs or else I wold not be typing Ha ha Autism blog coming soon. It is extremely difficult when my son has meltdowns or anytime when his autism is bothering him. I was so use to eating I have realized that I never dealt with them until now. I recall only complaining saying "Why me". But I have realized God must have known I could handle it Otherwise he would not have blessed me with my special child. Well I really need to get some food in me I tried to eat the eggs even though I hate eggs, I honestly tried I could not do it YUCK YUCK YUCK. Looks like fruit and veggies and black coffee for breakfast sounds boring but I have to get the nourishment in. Till later.............
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